The unashamed truth.

Hello lovely one,

Lets talk things HSP.

So I have been doing a mini ‘spring clean’ (which sounds so much nicer on my nervous system than just regular cleaning) and I like to end with some incense and drops of essential oil….. Now on regulated days, this can happen without too many hiccups but this is the thing. Today is no ordinary day, today is the end of my period, its the end of a week of total overwhelm and we are creeping up on a full moon which means my nervous system is completely and entirely shizzled so you guessed it, I’m on HSP hyper-drive. And that means that my hsp hyper sensitivity tenticles are on fire.

So where some days I can be super relaxed (totally never really super relaxed, who am I kidding!) today my spidey hsp senses are on high alert which means everything is super smelly, strong tasting, scratchy, loud, bright, too spacious, not spacious enough, buzzing, too much…. So back to the cleaning, the incense, then the essential oil drama. I unintentionally dropped a single droplet of essential oil on to my finger and no amount of washing removed the smell which was totally overwhelming for my olfactory senses to the point of discomfort. I mean, honestly. Its a thing. And it became so much, I had to take myself to bed.

On days like this, the big light in the living room feels like someone is blinding me with some of those laser pointers, I only want my safe foods, plain, non tingly, non smelly, not too hot, not too cold. I can only wear my squishiest softest cardigan but not my usual comfy one because that one feels hairy when I am in sensory overwhelm and that just makes me super aware of my eyeballs and then if a single hair goes on my face I cant bear the feeling of all the micro hairs that stand on end in rebellion. Dont even get me started on if it goes in my mouth. OMG.

I showered this morning and the ‘dryness of the water’ made me slather enough moisturiser on to calm an eczema ridden crocodile. But then I had to keep checking in the mirror because my face felt too moisturised and plump. Yup.

So lets be real, feels pretty border line mental I know, but its those super sensors on hyperdrive and I know it. The plus, music sounds flipping amazing, earth shattering, body tingling. Silence is BLISS and reading a good book is like escaping into a real-life fantasy world because my imagination is super hightened too. And thats HOT.

The crazy thing is that I have had so much shame over decades of feeling so sensitive, at times wondering if I was entirely broken, that I hid from the world, pulling a mask over my face and lived my life ashamed of the absolute magnificence of my sensory sensitivities. Maybe its peri-menopause, maybe I’m just getting too old and tired for all this judgement and shame. Truth is, I no longer give a f*uck what anyone else thinks. Its taken too long for me to re-discover and love and accept myself that I just dont need anyone else approval. And that my friend is more than enough.