The Beginning.
Dear reader,
I have been sitting with the idea of writing my first letter for some time, weeks in fact. Every time I thought about it my mind and body would go into FREEZE (my occasionally annoying conditioned go to when things get sticky). So I did what I do, I retreated into my turtle shell until it felt safe enough to feel into the feelings and ask myself why this was showing up for me. And then one night at about 2am when I was woken by my super power skill of rising to full alert at the sound of a pin drop, I received the answer. I was in freeze because if I did what I really wanted to do with these letters, if I followed my true vision, my hearts desire…. I would be vunerable and THAT was scary.
As an HSP I have always rather liked not having to share too much of my complex, private and intricate inner world, and suddenly I was asking myself to share it with the digital universe and that meant I had to lean deeply into being brave. To step out into the world with all my complexity, mask-less, with my fears and insecurities on full display and no amount of Brene Brown on repeat in my mind saying “There is no courage without vulnerability”, would move me through the big feelings that were showing up. And then one afternoon I opened a cupboard and found a box of letters. Proper licked stamp postage, old school, doodled on, scribbled with crossings outs, dramatic capital letters and squiggly hand drawn letters, and my heart opened.
I was flooded with joy and comfort, laughter and tears, re-reading these little notes from friends, old boyfriends, my penpal in Scotland and a few other random souls who had touched my heart throughout the years. I remembered the way I became giddy with excitement when I saw a letter with my name on it arrive on our boarding school hallway table. I remembered that when times were tough (and oh my goodness they got tough), one of the things that kept me going were the letters I wrote and the letters I received and it was this remembering that moved me into picking up a pen and pad at 4am to start writing this letter to you. To you, my new and already cherished friend. To you who may need a dose of connection with someone just like you, who feels the world like you.
I didn’t want to write about the usual generic ‘hints and tips for HSP’s', I was sick of the standard social media educational ‘know hows’, I was tired of the predictable instagram HSP posts, I was fed up of reading AI written blogs about what it is to be a highly sensitive human. I wanted the truth out there, all of it, in all its human glory. I wanted human connection through authenticity and truth and I knew that if I could move through the discomfort of sharing it all, I could impact the life of someone else who needed the same. And if I touched a single heart, I could make a difference in someones world.
And so heart notes was born.
Yes I will share many of the teachings I have learnt over the decades as a therapist and coach, yes, I will try to back up what I know with what I know, and lean into all the things I have learnt in my quest for deep spiritual knowledge, but my ultimate intention is to be authentic and real. And that means, it is likely to be imperfect and at times it may be messy and ugly and jeeze, it’s going to feel vulnerable. But I am all in. Because you my friend, you are my reason.
We may be living in a digital world but these letters are from my very human, highly sensitive, beating heart to yours.
And so it begins.
Love, Me x
